Stories from tech 

“We have the best F*ing codes in the country!” & somehow breaking their own water valve while I’m on the phone is my fault.

So, this finally inspired me to actually write a story. Just happened two hours ago, as well. Answering customer service tech-support for a stupidly expensive kitchen appliance company. (Yes, they do have 24 hours, hence the call being at midnight-ish).

Customer was having trouble installing his new water filter for his fridge. Heard it before, of course. Turns out customer had been messing with it for an hour, and had basically stripped any of the plastic threading and jammed it all around. I legitimacy just opened the manual, and read to him verbatim what the manual's instructions were. (I get paid to help people with these fridges, they don't pay me enough to OWN one: Side note, so many rich callers not getting that when I try to explain why I don't have personal experience with their fridge.) Starts getting mad at me because that's not what the box for the filter says. I agree with him that it's odd, but suggest he try it the way the manual says for a moment. This after being put on speaker phone, despite me (calmly) explaining that I can't hear him since he is putting his phone 5 feet away on the table, and his head is inside a god-damned fridge. I can hear him struggling for a while, before more cursing, and him stomping over to pick up the phone:

Angry Owner: "Now it's leaking all over!"

me: "Ok, well what we need to do right now is to shut off the water supply to your fridge itself to stop that."

AO: "And where the hell is that?" (Most people don't know the basic layout of their home. Pro tip: Know where to shut off both your water & your electricity, if nothing else.)

me: "In most parts of the US & Canada, the code is to have the shut off be under your kitchen sink: Yes, it does not matter how far away your sink is from your fridge, mine is over 5 feet away and on the opposite wall."

AO: (After "looking" for all of half a minute) "I don't see it, it's not there. I looked."

Normally they stop bothering to look at this point, and I get off the horn, telling them to call a plumber, but I was somehow able to get him to actually get on his knees and stick his head in, when he saw exactly what I said would be there, a quarter inch pipe with a valve on it pointed in the direction of his fridge.

He then proceeds to somehow snap the entire valve off, and start having water leak all over under his kitchen sink now. I don't know how he did it, he sure didn't sound like Clark Kent, but he's getting more and more pissed, demanding I tell him what to do (note: Although I do my own plumbing I am NOT a plumber, and I was making that clear). I tell him that I don't know the code in his area, but most require a shut off to parts of the home, and to look for that, otherwise to shut off the water to his whole home and call a plumber as the water would just keep streaming out (since he insisted the water line for the fridge appeared out of the back wall of his under-cabinet, and not from the water line that was actually feeding the sink). At that point:

AO: "Don't you fucking talk about codes. We have the best fucking codes in the country. You hear me? We have the best codes! The best!"

Ahhh, swearing: When I get to hang up.

me: "Yes sir. In that case, you'll need to call a plumber."

AO: "Basically I'm worse off after talking to you, then! What's the point of you? You told me different directions than are on the package!"

me: "Yes sir, I don't know why they are printed differently."

AO: the angry-snark-voice "Will they know who you are when I call in the morning?"

me: "To talk about how you broke your pipe? Yes sir, they will know. Good night."

Edit: Formatting

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